We received word today that 'K' will be leaving this weekend. It's a lot to take on emotionally in a week, but I can do this. I know this is what's best for us.
I know this is what's best for him.
I'm trying to look on the bright side. I'm trying to remind myself that soon it will pay off. He'll be happier. He'll feel that he has a place again. This is what he's wanted to do for so long. Whoops...forgot about me. What do I want to be happy? What should I be doing? I wish I knew those answers. To be honest, I feel like I'm attempting to crawl out of a deep dark hole....in the sand.
4 days left with him. It doesn't seem long enough. I'm full of un-answered questions. Will I see him before he leaves, or will I have to wait for him to get back in the states again? Where will he be going, and is it safe? Obviously not, if they need him. I don't know much, and what I do know I won't be posting on the Internet for their safety. I will tell you though, It is far from where we are now.
Deployment mode has kicked in. My YouTube account is being taken over by sappy ol' love songs.
The quotes, the pictures, the thoughts.....I've got this. It's just a year....for now. 315 days.
I admire 'K' for having such a desire to make a difference in this world. He was born to protect. I know this is where he belongs, and as much as I wish I could keep him in a bubble....I know God has his back. I will put my faith in him, and trust he will help keep them safe and bring them home to me. All of those men are important to me, and 'K' is my world.
(This was posted on their wall last deployment.)
I supposed it's time for me to start planning things I'm going to do while he's gone.
It is now 2:03 AM. Tomorrow morning at 11 I am scheduled for a massage. A very sweet co-worker purchased a massage at a local spa for my birthday. (It's on Thursday.) I suppose I should get ready for bed, and allow myself to sleep. I don't do that much anymore, and the bags under my eyes are starting to be proof of that.